Many people who come to me with symptoms labeled depression, anxiety or other stress related issues have a ‘script/belief,’ about not being ‘good enough’ or that they are an imposter and will be declared ‘a fraud’ by some unknown source.
The truth is you are good enough, because you are who you are, and who you are is good enough. The question is what prompts someone to have a ‘not good enough,’ belief? The beliefs you hold about yourself are the indoctrination and conditioning you experienced growing up.
Listen to the words you say to yourself – can you hear your mother or father’s tone of voice in your mind? Listen to the language you use when you speak to others. When you heard words that demeaned, discounted, diminished, negated or a put down – as a child these words were internalized as (“I am not good enough.” What is wrong with me?). After hundreds of times hearing these words they become a devastating, Wordology that impacts your Biology. The words eat away at your Self-Respect and Self-Confidence.
When you examine the notion, ‘not good enough,’ you will recognize the faulty logic. Your best is ‘good enough.’ You might not be able to deliver someone else’s idea of the best, but the good news is that is not your concern. You only need to fulfill your highest potential, and when you remain true to that calling of doing your best to fulfill your purpose, you have fulfilled it.
It is easy to get embroiled in the idea of being ‘the best’ – the best parent, the best employee, the best student, or someone’s best friend. When you strive to be the best, you run the risk of short-circuiting your originality because you are striving to fit into someone else’s vision of what is the best.
Furthermore, if everyone is striving for the same outcome, you lose out on creativity, diversity, and visionary ideas as to the ways things are done. On another note, there is nothing inherently wrong with the desire to improve. However, examining where this desire comes from is important because the desire to be better than others is your ego coming into play.
Letting go of the desire to hold yourself up to other people’s standards or letting go of the belief that you need to compete and win, does not mean you do not believe in doing the best you can. You can strive to do your best, because when you do you create a life free of regret, knowing you have performed to the best of your ability. Thus, you allow yourself to feel great personal satisfaction in all your efforts, regardless of how others perceive you or the outcome.